The Cheer Mom (aka THAT MOM)

If you are “that” cheer mom, you may not want to read any further…..

Last chance, click away from this blog….

Okay, let’s get started.

We’ve all read the stories over the years about the over zealous mother of a cheerleader and their competitions.  I can honestly say I wondered if these mothers really did exist or if these stories were exaggerated by the media.  Surely they can’t be that crazy right?  I mean, I had cheerleader friends growing up and their moms seemed totally normal.

People, THEY EXIST!!  My 6 year old daughter recently started a tumbling class at a gym that offers tumbling and cheer.  For the past month, I have watched this insane breed of women with a look of complete wonder in my eye.  Remarkable! I found them!  The stories are true!  The “valley girl” accents, the constant fussing over their daughters hair and uniforms, the near fighting that goes on for a front row seat an hour before their actual class starts.

Thankfully I have a friend to sit through these periods of time with who also shares my sentiments of the “cheer mom”.  We are just those “tumbling moms” that try very hard to behave and not laugh out loud at them.  But sometimes, it’s just not in my power to do so.  Sometimes I have to physically remove myself from the situation.

Here are a few experience from my few weeks at the gym:

Week #1 – To Skirt or Not to Skirt

Right off the bat.  BAM!  Cheer mom.  I’m in the front office about to ask about a shirt for my daughter and a group of cheer moms are pestering a coach to see the costume for their daughters upcoming competition.  Immediately upon seeing the costume, the woman is utterly distraught.  I’m talking seriously upset here.  Because she does not want the girls to wear shorts for a competition.  For heavens sake!  They need to be wearing skirts because they are just “like totally so much cuter than shorts”.  Upon leaving the office, the one cheer mom in particular is still discussing her disappointment in the choice of uniform.  I’m wondering if she will start a movement against shorts.  I would have been afraid if I were that coach!

Week #2 – The Battle of the Chairs

There are a few rows of folding chairs for the parents to sit in while their children are in class.  I wouldn’t say any of them have a “great” view because the gym is fairly large and sometimes the girls are working in the back of the gym and you can’t really see them at all.  In any case, the first week my friend and I sat in the front row so I gravitated towards that same area when I arrived the following week.  The cheer mom from the week before gave me this look as she walked up.  It was kind of scary.  Well, actually it was really scary.  So needless to say, as my daughter was in the back of the gym for this class, I took the row behind her.  Once she became situated, she smiled “sweetly” at me in passing.  As if I had a choice.  The woman is larger than me and honestly I don’t feel like getting in a brawl at the gym.  And at least this way i got to hear her intelligent conversations with other cheer moms, again mentioning the shorts vs skirts saga from the previous week.

Week #3 – The 80’s Are Back

This past week something I was guilty of staring.  I tried SO hard not to because this girl was probably 10 years old or so and I probably was creeping her out.  But I honestly couldn’t help myself.  And I also couldn’t help my internal laughter that was about to burst the seams.  Glancing quickly at my friend, I knew she’d seen the same thing I had, so we didn’t discuss it at that point.  Plus the girls mom was sitting directly in front of us and I try my hardest to be on my best behavior most days.  This young girl had the poofed up bangs that were rolled backwards on her head and stood up about 2-3 inches tall.  And there was probably no less than 1-2 cans of hairspray up in there.  I mean those bangs were NOT moving.  How did that happen?!  How long did that take?!  I wanted to ask to touch it, but I didn’t feel like that would be appropriate.  So I just stared.  For probably 20 minutes.  The mom continued to fuss over her daughters uniform and oversized hair bow while waiting for her daughters class to start.  But that hair never moved.  Not even once.  Incredible!

And here I thought I would be bored at the gym for the hour while Karys was doing her tumbling classes.  Silly me!  Now my challenge is trying not to laugh out loud at the absurdity I am surrounded with.  If you are a crazy cheer mom reading this post, I thank you for the entertainment I receive each Tuesday night.  It truly puts me in a great mood and gives me something to laugh about.

Karys will actually be starting a cheer class in addition to her tumbling class later this fall.  I vow to not become “that” cheer mom though.  I way too much enjoy making fun of others to join that crowd.  Plus, it makes great blog fodder.

Comments

  1. Kelly Glass says:

    Hahaha! I am a cheer mom! But I’m not THAT one. I’m wondering which gym you’re at bc some of those women go to our gym (though no shorts for our uniform). I had no idea what I was getting into when Tayla decided she wanted to try out for a competitive cheer team. There are definitely some women living vicariously there! Tayla just got moved to a higher team mid season, which is rare. When the other moms from her original team found out she was being moved up, one actually gave me this angry pouty look, like “How dare you”. I was so confused. What in the world does one child doing well have to do with you or your child? Geez. But then she put on her sweet face and said how upset she was because they were going to miss us – I’ve talked to her once before, I’m sure the devastation runs deep!
    But, there is a percentage of moms who are NOT crazy, competitive and weird. I’d say half of us? We roll our eyes and chuckle at the absurdity, let the gym be our daughters social sphere, not ours, and laugh at some of the crazy things we do for our daughter… Texas Cheer hair is a lot of big bumps, teased ponytails and bows bigger than the girls heads. Last week I was at the gym for a hair and makeup class where I learned to tease the crap out of her until the bump was big enough to make the bow look proportionate and coat her eye in black and white eye shadow and *glitter* yay! ha.
    We’re not ALL crazy!

  2. I think for Moms these cheer leading would be the new profession for them.

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